In April, we met up for coffee. I could tell that she was nervous, as many of my clients are initially; I mean they are meeting up with someone they will eventually strip down in front of, at a Starbucks. She had this low-key rocker essence about.  She had a take over the world with just one flash of her smile million dollar smile kind of vibe. However, her eyes shared a different story. They were this beautiful piercing blue color, but every time she answered a question about herself they dropped to the floor.  She told me she was not very confident. That the last time she felt beautiful was on her honeymoon last year, because she "felt like she had nothing to prove to anyone and was completely confident walking around without makeup on."

That day she was dressed in gym clothes and dark lipstick, looking absolutely fit and absolutely fierce. Nonetheless, she expressed her desire to loose more weight before her session. We talked for 3 hours, about everything; her fitness journey, her adorable bratty ginger cat 'Tigger', her Pitbull Monte, her career as a hairstylist, and her super supportive husband (who I didn't know was waiting in the car for our 3 hour chat, so sorryy!!!).

She explained to me that this boudoir experience was something she was doing for herself so that she could feel more confident and comfortable in her skin. And she was SERIOUSLY ready to feel this way about her self as soon as possible. In the past 2 years, she had saved, she had worked hard in the gym, she had found the right person to work with, and she was finally ready to take her confidence back!

I could write for days about this experience, but I think I better let Miss K take this one....

I know I had told you a little about the way I viewed my body. As a kid/teenager I was always told that I had “huge hips” and “thunder thighs” and although I knew my family didn’t mean it to be mean or rude it made me very insecure. I can honestly say that I was never confident in my body. I felt like I matured overnight and before I knew it my butt had doubled and I had huge boobs, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. As a teenager I found my self worth in what boys thought of me. I cared way too much about other’s opinions and that took a huge toll on my life and my self esteem. I had always known that I was a curvy girl but I never really wanted to be one. I wanted to be the stick straight skinny girl. I started becoming more and more insecure in the way my body looked, how my skin wasn’t clear, and a lot of other things. As I grew into adulthood I thought of myself less and less. I never really wanted to look in the mirror and I found it very uncomfortable if someone would compliment me. To this day I still get very awkward when receiving a compliment, I always want to tell them that they’re wrong.

[My Ex- Boyfriend] point blank called me fat, completely out of the blue. Again I found myself caring about what someone so insignificant thought of me and that was my motivation to loose weight. I knew I shouldn’t care what he thought but that really hit a nerve with me. Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of myself for loosing the 25lbs that I have lost, but I still see myself as fat. I was still so unhappy with myself.

I had read all of the reviews on your website saying how great all of these women felt about themselves after their shoots and I envied them. I wanted to feel great about myself for once. That is when I decided to contact you. I waited honestly almost two years to do this shoot because I was so nervous. I had always had self confidence issues and I wanted to make sure that when I did get to do this experience I had the right person. You were by far the best I have seen and I’m so glad I waited until I could book with you.

The questionnaire I filled out really made me dig deep. I remember one question in particular made me very uncomfortable. It was “When was the last time you felt beautiful?”. I honestly couldn’t remember, which I know is sad. I hadn’t felt beautiful in a very long time. In fact that word “beautiful” made me so uncomfortable all together. Even when my own husband would call me beautiful I wanted to argue with him and tell him I wasn’t.

The day of my ordering appointment, the second I saw those pictures I wanted to burst into tears. I’m not one to cry in front of people and I had worked really hard on my eyeliner that morning, which is why I managed to keep myself from balling. I looked at those images and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Did I really look like that?! There’s no way that my body looked that good! It took me a minute to kind of take it all in. I was in complete shock. I saw myself in a totally different light than I had been seeing myself for years. Those pictures truly made me feel beautiful and sexy. I guess I’m writing all of this because I wanted to thank you for making me see that I am beautiful and that I am worth so much more than I think. You truly made a difference in me.
— Miss K

Hearing stories like Miss K's and being able to help change the way women see themselves is what makes me love Boudoir Photography so much! If you are in the Jacksonville, NC area and are ready to see yourself as so much more, holla at your girl ;)

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