My Verbal Thoughts on Why Every Women Should Have A Boudoir Experience

This was really emotional for me to record. I knew I had to find a way to share my thoughts on Boudoir Photography but it was so difficult to put it into the right words. So I pressed record and spoke from the heart.

This is raw, honest, and emotional.

Listen Here:

The reason that I shoot boudoir photography is to break the Stigma that there is any sort of standard of who you need to be or what your body needs to be.
— Alexandria Kenyon
I myself am so guilty of watching Keeping up with the Kardashians and accepting their body types, with the tiny waists and the perfect behinds, as something that is a standard across America. And most days I feel that I am the only person who is doesn’t have that body or who is different from that. I feel really alone.

And I myself believe that we have our good and bad days. And some days I will wake up and feel really alone and just just cry in my closet because my jeans don’t fit, and it’s a continuing trend I think especially after high school when your body makes a change, and you really really become a women. That you, start to see yourself in a more negative way. And I don’t know why and maybe that starts earlier on but, I was a chubby kid and you know, and I was always surrounded by people who seemed really confident about their bodies. And I don’t think I was ever confident about being a chubby kid. The shaming, the fat shaming in high school was concerning, it was thrown around so lightly, it was an excuse for boys not to date you was, “She’s Chubby, I can’t” and that is really really hurtful. That has stuck with me for a long time. I think a lot of this stems into why I shoot intimate photography, because I have really been a victim to societal body shaming, to these standards that are unrealistic. So why do we as women continuously find a need to train our bodies to have this perfect shape or, be something that we’re not? I mean maybe your skinny or maybe you’re not. Or maybe somebody tells your to eat a cheeseburger. I don’t think there is something that is more hurtful than someone trying to change who you are..... telling you to change YOUR body. It’s hurtful and these words stay with people. The reason that I do what I do, the reason that I shoot boudoir photography is to break the stigma, that there is any sort of standard of who you need to be or what your body needs to be.

So I have had stretch marks since I was maybe 15 years old, maybe a little bit younger, and I remember being in the bathroom and at this time they were on my hips, it was puberty... it was not fun......but anyway I had these red marks on my hips... and I remember the feeling that I had when I first saw them. I remember weighing the choices in my head,
Okay, first of all what are these?
Can I get these lasered off?
How Can I make these go away?

....No.... how am I at 15 years some concerned about stretch marks? How am I at 15 years old programmed to want to make my stretch marks go away. What is so bad about stretch marks? My body changed, I wasn’t a child anymore, I was transitioning into women hood. Why didn’t society guide me? Why didn’t society teach me to embrace that? There was no positivity about stretch marks. And I’m not necessarily saying that my mom never told me that I was beautiful, because she did. She was a great role model and I always felt that I grew up in a really positive environment. But whatever you parents do and whatever your parents don’t , everyday even after high school feels like .....Judgement.

Boudoir photography is a judgement free zone, at least here at my studio and whoever you are, whatever you want to be there is no judgement here. Because I have been there, I have felt like the odd man out, I have felt like I was in....I have felt out I have felt in.... it’s a vicious cycle and I felt crappy about myself. I have cried in my closet. I have canceled dinner plans because a pair of jeans that didn’t fit me 3 years ago still didn’t fit. It was irrational you guys, it’s completely irrational. The most important thing is that people are still going to love you if whether you are 100 pounds, whether you are 300 pounds, whether you are 500 pounds. The important people in your life are going to continuously support you. All that matters is tha you are healthy to yourself, whatever that may be.

I am so tired of caring about what other people think. But the point is, I am completely 100 percent guilty of caring too much about what people think everyday. As a business owner, as a women, as a human being, as a wife. I am so guilty of it every day and as I continue on this path of caring so much it eats me alive. But why? Why do I care so much about what people think of me if I am being true to myself. If I am being true to my authentic self every single day, and accepting that I am not perfect... I have got to accept that sometimes I can be a bitch, and sometimes I am mean, and sometimes I’m nice, sometimes things hurt me, and sometimes I feel fat, and sometimes I feel skinny, and sometimes I feel bad about myself. I have to accept that I have anxiety about things I cannot change. I have to accept that I can’t change myself.

It is really really hard you guys, trust me I know. But wouldn’t you want the chance to maybe to a step in that direction? To maybe see something completely different about yourself. To open your eyes to something that everyone is telling you is beautiful about yourself, but you can’t see. And each day is a struggle, I don’t think there is ever going to be a day in my life that I am 100% accepting of myself. Or who I am as a person or what my body is like. Because I am continuously changing, and that’s okay because I am still on the journey of figuring out who I am. I think this is going to be lifetime process, but this experience allows you to take that lap, to take that step in the right direction. It allows you to be bold, and to be free, and to be fierce. But to most importantly, be you, and be your authentic you. Whatever, whatever that may be. And that is what is more important these days, is taking a step in the right direction towards self acceptance but understanding that you may not get there 100%, and there is no right path, or right way to get there....but you’re going to try. The most important thing is making an effort. So that we can teach the next generation self acceptance and self love. And also most importantly we can teach ourselves self acceptance and self love.
— Alexandria Kenyon, Luxury Boudoir Photographer

I want to amend one part to this! I truly believe that you can change yourself if you try hard enough. The point I was trying to make was that you cannot change what you are not willing to accept and you cannot change things you cannot control.

xx, Alexandria